my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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