I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
someone owes me an orgasm
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
