Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
