you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
