My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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