the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
