Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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