the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
