I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
