it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think pants incapable of making pants work
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
