now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize