All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
No subtext here. People are naked.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
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I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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