At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
