I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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