I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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