the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
