Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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