i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
