Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
