Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize