remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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