yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
