hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
