he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
