I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize