You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
OPIZZABONMYDICK
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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