I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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