Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
