He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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