I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
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Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
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Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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