I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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