There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
