How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize