You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
