is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
