its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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