Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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