How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
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I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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