Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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