No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
