When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
