Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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