I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
