the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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