So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
