I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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