he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize