How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
