Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I need moral support for this bender
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
