Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
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the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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