what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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