I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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