I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
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