Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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