In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
