Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
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I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
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I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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