There is no way he is gay with that hair.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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