When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
