hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Randomize
