This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
