just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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