I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?