I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
