Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
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