Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex. http://tfl.nu/0okh
  Replies (22) Good night (784) Bad night (5146)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife. http://tfl.nu/c5bq
  Replies (36) Good night (9950) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads http://tfl.nu/utdd
  Replies (8) Good night (1034) Bad night (2104)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  She threw up in the hot tub how's your night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): She threw up in the hot tub how's your night http://tfl.nu/eq5g
  Replies (3) Good night (807) Bad night (3219)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Now have a vodka water and get your shit together

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Now have a vodka water and get your shit together http://tfl.nu/ex6u
  Replies (6) Good night (2572) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day. http://tfl.nu/y889
  Replies (7) Good night (930) Bad night (1837)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls... http://tfl.nu/pef0
  Replies (3) Good night (997) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER. http://tfl.nu/1azh
  Replies (7) Good night (581) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left... http://tfl.nu/rixb
  Replies (7) Good night (462) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway http://tfl.nu/1ukz
  Replies (11) Good night (690) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right http://tfl.nu/8f50
  Replies (11) Good night (1329) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible. http://tfl.nu/cmea
  Replies (1) Good night (601) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up. http://tfl.nu/2ge2
  Replies (3) Good night (186) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming http://tfl.nu/cp16
  Replies (1) Good night (449) Bad night (228)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked http://tfl.nu/ethb
  Replies (0) Good night (250) Bad night (103)

Randomize