HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.